Saturday, June 29, 2013

The tip

A man gave a waitress a $1,000 tip so she could take a trip to Italy. Isn't that nice? It was an Olive Garden waitress who dreamed of one day trying Italian food.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Common sense

During a fundraiser yesterday, President Obama said there is a shortage of common sense right now in Washington. At which point the people who paid $5,000 a plate for their dinner applauded in agreement.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Pot tourism

In November, Colorado passed an amendment that legalized the recreational use of marijuana. It's resulted in a surge of "pot tourism." People come for the weekend to smoke pot and the next thing they know,  it's 30 years later they're still there working in a carbon-neutral coffee shop.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Obama jokes-Do better

Over the weekend President Obama gave the commencement speech at Ohio State University. He said, "I dare you to do better" -- to which the students yelled back, "No, we dare YOU to do better. We need jobs!"

President Obama told students that it's their responsibility to make the world a better place. It got awkward when students were like, "Wait, isn't that literally your responsibility?" 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Earthquake is on the way

A cleric in Iran is warning that an earthquake is on the way, and it's the fault of women who wear revealing clothes. So yet another setback for the Tehran Hooters.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Spider kill

PETA is really upset at Chris Christie for killing a spider in front of a group of school children. Governor Christie said, "If PETA is upset by that, they do not want to know what I had for lunch today."

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Funny jokes-Diagonally

A Catholic bishop from Massachusetts was arrested for drunk driving. He told the cop, "I'm a bishop. I'm supposed to move diagonally."